You have most likely had the experience throughout your life, where you have set goals and have achieved them. In contrast, you have probably set other goals or new year resolutions and have not achieved them; often leaving yourself feeling like you have failed, or feeling like you have let yourself or others down. Goals, when we are setting them, generally seem like the right thing to do at the time. Yet for some reason, within days or weeks, the goal has simply slipped from the conscious mind due to us being too busy and focused on other objectives.

It has often been said that “If you want to make God Laugh, tell him your dreams and goals.” But in reality, the only people who would suggest such a thing are the people who 1) don’t know what’s important to them, and 2) don’t how to set goals that they are certain to achieve. This article is aimed at exploring what it takes to set goals that are realistic and that you will have a high probability of achieving because you know the basics of goal setting.

Values

Every human being has a ‘hierarchy of values’; a priority of things that are most important to us, all the way down to the things that are least important to us. Our values are unique to us, and no two people have the exact same hierarchy of values. Whatever it is that is highest on our values is where we have our most order, and is where we are most disciplined, reliable and focused. Nobody has to get us up in the morning to do the things that are most important us; we are in fact, inspired from within to do those things. As we go down our list of priorities however, we have more disorder and chaos, and because it has less value to us, we tend to procrastinate, hesitate and frustrate. In order for us to do the things that are lower on our values, we require some sort of outside motivation to kick us in to gear to get these things done, because it’s simply not a true priority for us.

Set goals congruent with values

Based upon we have learnt from the above, we now have a more understandable reason as to why some people have more success than others in achieving their goals, and as to why others tend to fall short from their targets.

If we set goals that are not aligned with our highest values, then no matter how good an idea it may seem, the likely hood of achieving that goal is low, due to the fact that whilst doing things that are low on our values, we tend to procrastinate and hesitate upon doing, and we find ourselves saying things like “I’ll get around to that tomorrow, or next week, “ – or “When so and so helps me, then I’ll be ready to get started on that.” If we set goals however that are congruent with our higher values, we will be more disciplined, reliable and focused; we will bring order to it and be more inspired from within ourselves to achieve it. Because it is higher on our values, we will embrace both pain and pleasure, challenge and support equally in the pursuit of our inspired mission. Whereas with the things of low importance to us, we will only do it if we see more benefits than drawbacks, more gains than losses, and therefore we will have a Motivated Passion for it.

People who know and understand their value systems, and who set goals that are congruent with their value systems, will believe they can do it and will use language like, “I can” and “I know” as compared to “I can’t” or “I don’t know how to” from someone who has set a goal that is not congruent with their higher values.

Sometimes in life however, we may find ourselves due to outside circumstances having to achieve goals that have been placed upon us by maybe a boss or a business associate or even our significant other. If this is the case you may struggle and find yourself putting it off, becoming frustrated, annoyed and wondering how on earth you can complete the assigned task or goal that you somehow inherited.
When faced with having to achieve goals and objectives that are not aligned with your own highest values, we have found that by simply asking yourself some simple questions, you can completely alter the way you perceive the task and the desired outcome.

Some questions you can ask yourself:

• What are the benefits to me for doing or completing this task?
• How is doing this helping me to achieve my highest values?
• How is this helping me to get what’s most important to me?
• How can I turn this task into an opportunity that fulfills my values, needs and desires.

Be Realistic with Time Frames

When setting goals, it is also wise to set them in a realistic time frame. Some goals will take longer than others to achieve, whilst others will be quicker and much easier to achieve.

If we attempt to set goals when we are feeling elated, infatuated, positive and up about things, we tend to set too bigger goals in too short of a time frame. If we are feeling down and out, depressed or resentful about things, we tend to set goals that are small and in too long of a time frame. In both of these examples, we are likely to be misleading ourselves and our goals or objectives usually don’t manifest. Some might call this a failure; we at the project however see these as feedback mechanisms to our conscious minds that we are out of balance and setting unrealistic goals and placing unrealistic expectations upon ourselves. These so called failures are really bringing us back to the truth of now, back to an opportunity to set realistic and authentic goals, and so these situations are not failures but are more like homing mechanisms guiding us back to our own authenticity, where we can re-set and go again.

It was Thomas Edison who pointed out when asked why he failed 1000 times in trying to create the light bulb, “I have not failed 1000 times, I have successfully discovered 1000 ways to NOT make a light bulb."

Fail to Plan – Plan to Fail.

Each morning upon arising, take a few minutes to set yourself a plan of action that leads you towards your Goals. We have all heard the saying: “If we fail to plan, then we plan to fail,” and in our experience we believe this to be absolutely true. One of the most effective ways we know of doing this is to ask yourself each morning, “What are the seven highest priority action steps I can do today, that will assist me in achieving my Goals?” – write these down.

Writing is the first step in turning intangible ideas into tangible reality. A short pencil is more powerful than long term memory in bringing ideas into form and writing helps to bring about a personal commitment.

When writing goals, ensure you are writing in present tense. It has also been shown that due to ‘the law of entropy’, any area of life that we don’t give attention to begins to break down, and the very same is true with our goals. If we don’t fill our days with high priority action steps, leading us to fill full our goals and dreams, then our days get filled up with low priority things that lead us away from our goals and dreams.

Affirmations

Many people in addition to writing down their specific goals, often write themselves one or two affirmations directly related to their goal or goals, which they can then repeat to themselves many times throughout the day. Affirmations should always be written in the present tense, and should also be realistic. Many people believe in writing only positive affirmations, but this can often be unrealistic. It is wise to write realistic affirmations, because there will always be both support and challenge, benefits and drawbacks along the way and there will continue to be after you have achieved the goal. Writing affirmations that are in the present tense and that are balanced are much more effective, and keep you feeling more centered and balanced.

Examples of some affirmations:

• I manage money wisely; therefore I have more money to manage.
• I provide quality service for a quality price and I live an amazing life.
• I know where I am going, for I have a mission.
• I am focused on my purpose and destined to fulfill this focus.

Chunk goals down

Goals are the smaller stepping stones that lead to our true and ultimate dreams of how we want our lives to be. Imagine for just a moment, how you really want your life to be. How do you envisage yourself in 5, 10, or 20 years from now Spiritually or Mentally? How do you see yourself and your family, what is your vocation and how do you want your finances to look? How about your social life and your physical health and wellness? These dreams of how we want our life to be are the really big long term goals, and they are the sort of goals that just don’t happen overnight. Often our dreams can appear to be very daunting, and often give rise to doubts and fears about whether or not we will ever achieve what it is that our hearts truly desire.

One of the many ways to reduce these fears and doubts is to chunk our goals down into smaller intermediate goals along the way. Doing this helps to reduce the anxiety often related to larger goals. If we chunk our bigger goals down into many smaller, more easily achievable goals, then each time we accomplish one of these smaller goals, we realize that we are that one step closer to our dream. Every time we achieve a goal, we simultaneously increase and expand our own self worth, we dissolve limiting beliefs and overcome specific fears related to the original goal.

Conclusion

Our life is demonstrative of our hierarchy of values, and our hierarchy of values determines our destiny; and it is the summation of our various destinies over time that show us our purpose in life. Setting goals that are congruent and aligned with our values gives us a much greater probability of having the success we desire. Setting unrealistic goals that are not aligned with our higher values will usually mean disappointment for most people. We believe that it is every person’s birthright to live an amazing life, and having an understanding on the basics of goal setting, of knowing your own values assists you on your journey to that amazing life. Every time you achieve a goal, you grow in self worth. Be realistic with your objectives and time frames. Chunk your goals down into smaller goals, so they don’t appear to be so hard to achieve, and most of all, every time you achieve a personal goal, reward yourself in some way, you deserve it.