One of the most important components of a healthy life seems to have been forgotten over the last 50 years or so. No more are the times when people would finish their day of work or study and come home and switch off completely in the company and warmth of friends and family. We seem to think we are switching off, but being bombarded by the frantic sensory rollercoaster of primetime TV is not entirely an act of relaxation! With conditions like stress, anxiety, depression and insomnia on the rise, we need some down-to-earth remedies to bring us back into a healthy equilibrium, so we’re alive, inspired, and truly ready for what life has to throw our way.

One solution to our modern dilemma is to establish clear boundaries between the 'Yin' and 'Yang' components of our lives.

When we do not create these boundaries, we find ourselves feeling Yin when we need to be Yang, and vice versa, at the most inconvenient of times. For example, you’re at work, there’s a huge to-do list to tick off, so you need to be sharp, focused and present while you go about undertaking a multitude of jobs. Yet, a feeling of sleepiness starts to creep in, you feel sidetracked, tired, hungry, your body seems to be begging for just 10 minutes sleep. Were you up until midnight last night, watching TV, or working on the computer? Sure you were. What about the day you’ve set aside to work on projects at home? You have eight full hours to get things done, yet you end up surfing the web, having way too many breaks, even falling asleep a number of times during the day.

Then at night time, let's say your partner surprises you with a candlelit room, soothing music, and her gorgeous new lingerie. But for some reason, you can’t seem to be ‘totally there’ while you are making love. You’re worrying about other things, things you have to do tomorrow, things you need to do before bed, or simply, you just feel like there’s some boundary between you feeling completely conscious and connected with this experience.

Another example is when you’re trying to meditate or go to sleep at night. Do you experience excessive thoughts of the past and worries for the future? Or turbulent thoughts about random ideas or things that need to be done?

As a side-effect of modern life, we allow ourselves to become psychologically and physically imbalanced, through our endless driving to achieve and also to be entertained; and as a result of this, we also deny ourselves access to the deep variety of inner experiences, inspirations, creativity, peak experiences, and the reconnection to the fundamental wholeness that is our soul. 

We have the potential to be masters of both the Yin and Yang components of our lives. Of course, mastery takes time and dedication, but we can at least achieve a graceful state of balance in the meantime. The question is, are you ready to embrace greater harmony in your inner and outer life, or do you prefer to stick the old way of distraction and struggle?  

Establishing the boundaries

The first thing we may want to do is to establish a balance between discipline & spontaneity.

Living in an excessively impulsive way, without structure, rhythm, routine and discipline will result in a turbulent mind and an unsettled individual who’s always stuck in the planning process, but often struggles with following through with all the small action steps required to succeed. A person in this condition may become mentally flighty and ungrounded, moody, unpredictable, unfocused, and appear as being scattered or irrational to others.

If you consider yourself to be in an excessively impulsive condition right now, you can try these following practices to find your balance and return to the center. It may take some time, but what you do on a daily basis conditions you to become who you are in every way. So the pain of discipline is going to be far less than the pain of resisting change in the long run.

• Wake up at the same time every day, at least six days per week.
• Work out at the same time each morning. Stick with a more rhythmic and regimented exercise routine. Don’t just stumble from one exercise to another like a zombie!
• Meditate at the same time each evening.
• Surround yourself with some people who are organised, balanced, focused, and successful at what they do.
• Buy a diary/planner, and plan your day in advance. Designate times to achieve your to do’s and make sure you hit as many targets as possible, and do it on time.
• Invest in a time management program such as ‘Time of your life’ by Tony Robbins.
• Tidy your room and your house, and find a place for all the clutter and loose items that are laying about. Create a more simplistic, clean, tidy living environment. Keep it that way.

On the other hand, living an excessively structured life can be as equally debilitating. Really structured people can become closed minded, rigid in their beliefs, socially awkward or inept, and anxious or terrified when out of their comfort zone or faced with the prospect of change. Life gets really boring when you take the variety out of it, and you’ll find yourself having less of those exciting coincidences and synchronicities that bring friendship, fortune and fun into our lives!

Try these following practices to break out of the ‘rigid zone’ and come back to center.

• Start breaking your routines. Sleep on the other side of the bed. Take a different route to work each day.
• Dance and sing impulsively when you’re home alone, or in public if you’re game!
• Read books about fantasies, dreams, imagination and fiction.
• Try wearing clothes that are more free flowing, fun, colorful and daring. Let your hair out.
• Start random conversations with people in public. Find out what makes people tick, what inspires them, what gets them out of bed in the morning, why they do what they do.
• Dare yourself to start facing your fears and acting despite them! Go skydiving, hold a snake (a safe one!), dance in public, get up and do a speech, ask a girl or guy out on a date.
• Pick up a musical instrument or pen and paper, and start exploring your creativity and expressing your deepest thoughts and feelings.
• Try playing some fast paced sports like soccer or go out surfing. Anything that requires your full attention and focus. Experiences that get you out of your own head, and completely into the moment.

Let’s now look at an example of a daily lifestyle plan that exemplifies these lessons in balance, and allows time for both Yin and Yang to exist harmoniously and in balance. By designating times throughout the day for both assertion and receptivity, we reduce the risk of a chaotic fusion between them when we least want it to happen. When put into action consistently, this lifestyle plan gives us the energy to perform at our full potential when required, and to also be able to switch off, relax, and let go completely at the end of the day.

A near-perfect 21st century day

6:00 am - Wake up, have a big glass of warm water. Go to bathroom, wash your face. Find a comfortable place indoors or outdoors and spend ten to fifteen minutes doing stretches or light yoga.

6:30 am - Spend 30 - 60 minutes working out, pushing your limits, doing weight training and or cardio.

7:30 am - Spend 15 - 30 minutes reflecting over your life and focusing on all the things you have to be grateful for. Go over this internally or write it down. Visualise the day ahead, the week, the month, the year and the years ahead and see yourself living the life you want to live in those time frames. Spend a little time writing in your diary or setting to-do lists.

8:00 am - Have a shower, get ready for the day ahead. Have a tasty, nutritious breakfast. Listen to some inspiring music as you get ready and into the rhythm of the day. Try focusing on internally or externally going over some affirmations or mantras that bring you into alignment with your authentic self. Allow some time to have a hug with friends, family, or your partner before you leave for work. Don’t be afraid to say “I love you, thanks so much for everything.” before you leave.

9:00 am - Start work or study. Remove all distractions and focus exclusively on the tasks at hand until 12 or 1:00pm. Have a piece of fruit or some raw nuts in this period if you feel distracted or hungry before lunch. Assign your most physically and mentally challenging jobs to this part of the day if possible.

1:00 pm - Have a tasty, nutritious lunch, either quietly by yourself, or joyfully with other people. If you’re with others, take this time to have some interesting conversations, kick back, relax completely and enjoy the meal. If you are alone, spend some time reflecting on all the things that inspire you, and all you have to be grateful for. Spend a little time reading, or watch something inspiring on your laptop or smart phone. For example, if you’re a musician, watch some music clips or listen to some of the music you’ve recorded. If you’re an aspiring comedian, watch some comedy clips. This is a great time to open the heart and feel congruent with your highest values. Take some time to have a little kick-back rest or sleep in this period if possible.

2:00 pm - Get back to work or study. If possible, assign the cruisier jobs to this later part of the day. Again, remove distractions from the environment and zoom in on what you’re doing for a stretch of three hours. Take a ten minute break when needed to eat some raw nuts or fruit and do a couple of stretches before jumping back into it.

5:00 pm - If you’re driving back home or catching public transport, opt for some cruisy, chill out music at this time of the day. Take some nice, deep breaths and chill out on your way home. If you’re already home, just spend 15 minutes or so listening to some chill-out music and unwinding: try a progress muscle relaxation exercise. If you’re driving, don’t get caught up in road rage! Sing along to the music, remind yourself to be here in the NOW, and just celebrate and make the most of that moment by singing, laughing, or calling some friends using the hands free on the phone (if it’s safe for you to do so.) Either meet some friends out and spend some time hanging out with a glass of red and great conversation, or do the same at home with your partner or family.

6:00 pm - Enjoy a light meal in good company. Make love with your partner. Listen to some more music. Hang out with the kids. (Mentally dissociate completely from outside concerns, responsibilities and to-do's when you're in this zone)

7:00 pm - Prepare yourself for tomorrow. Get your clothes ready, documents, research papers, whatever it is, take a little time to have it prepared so you don’t need to rush around frantically in the morning before leaving home.

7:30 pm - Take a shower. Watch a movie. Play some music. Make some art. Go to a yoga class or do some meditation.

10:00 pm - Jump into bed. Again, reflect on all the things in your life that you can be grateful for. Gently reflect on your dreams, desires and inspirations. Remember the eternal truth that fulfillment is an experience (not just a future-based destination) that exists right here in the present. Tune into this present moment through gratitude and gentle reflection. Feel what it is to be alive in this wonderful human experience, and then just be...here...now...Breathe deeply in through the nose, filling the stomach with air, and then breathing out again through the nose. Focus your attention on your breathing, and a sense of letting go, unfolding, drifting away calmly into comfort of deep sleep.

This is an example of a really balanced and life affirming day. This is not to suggest that we should cling tightly to a timetable like this, as we’re often called to be flexible in our lives. Give time to be flexible, especially for the things you love. When you are doing the things that inspire you, the things highest on your values, you aren’t subject to the same patterns of stress and tiredness, and time seems to have less impact over the body and mind. But all in all, sticking to a regular lifestyle plan like this will naturally bring you back into balance, as neither the yin or yang component is in excess or out of control.

If you occasionally have to stay up late at night to catch up on some work, that’s fine; just don't beat yourself up over it, and do it with a balanced mindset. Or if you occasionally feel like distracting yourself or having a nap during the day, that’s fine too. And don’t be shy of giving yourself one day a week to go out partying all night with your friends. It’s just the things that we do consistently that truly count. So the more you stick with a balanced daily lifestyle, the less undesirable impact occasional binges, all nighters, and breaks in routine will have! Enjoy life, do what you love, be grateful for what you have, you can’t go wrong.