Seven things you can do to transform your life, regardless of your background.

Written by Manny & Michael |

It is evident that throughout our lives, we will be faced with a great deal of adversity within ourselves, and in the world around us. Of course we’ve all had our fair balance of challenges in the process of growing up, but some, more than others, have already been through an incredible bout of adversity. It may have been a childhood of physical violence or mental insults and hurts, or years of addiction, injury, obesity or poor health, the loss of a loved one, or a number of other challenges. These experiences well and truly change the course of our lives, and often bring us face to face with the ultimate questions of our existence. People often begin to question the very fabric of their cultural, social and religious upbringing when faced with these levels of pain and uncertainty; “How could a loving God allow this to happen to me or my loved ones?” and “Is there more to life than this? Is there some greater purpose out there for me?” are defining questions that arise so often amongst people during or after a crisis.

These challenging times are almost always deemed to be labeled as just bad, wrong or inconvenient by most people. Any down time that takes us away from a purely positive attitude and pursuit of happiness is perceived as a horrible setback. Perhaps this explains why many adults can’t cope and try to avoid it when someone talks about their current challenges or their troubled childhood. Advice like “You just need to be more positive. Look on the bright side. Stop being so messed up. Harden up. Move on, get over it.” just demonstrates a lack of empathy and understanding for the individual in crisis. It also demonstrates the fact that people fail to see that within every perceived crisis is an absolute blessing.

We at the Manny Molecular Project are here to remind you that adversity isn’t just ‘bad’, and that the most challenging times in your life contain the seeds to a life of greater meaning, freedom and fulfillment. It is in these times of crisis that we can either allow ourselves to crumble and break down under the pressure, or to break through; it’s not always easy, but it is what it is. So the purpose of this article is to share some information and inspiration that may help you to make your decisions wisely in tough times, and to give you greater choice over the way you perceive what is happening. By applying these principles, we believe that you can not only break through current challenges, but also open up to an inspiring new dimension of life.

“No matter what you have or have not done, you are worthy of love.” - Dr John Demartini

Ask quality questions/Take new perspectives

In any difficult situation, it is wise to start asking some quality questions that loosen up our entanglement to the challenge. By asking quality questions we can give ourselves a new and sometimes refreshing insight into the way we are perceiving our current paradigm. Quality questions can provide us with quality answers that break us through to a more ordered state of seeing things. Albert Einstein once said “No problem can ever be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.”

Use the list below for some ideas on quality questions you can ask yourself in time of stress and difficulty.

What can I learn from this experience?
Have any of my loved ones been through a similar experience? How did they respond to this, and how did they make it through the tough times?
Which people and resources around me could help me to learn and grow beyond this challenge?
Who am I? What is my potential?
Is there more to life than this? What is my true potential?
What are the hidden benefits to this perceived loss? What can I gain from this?

Attend The Breakthrough Experience or The Transformation Experience workshop, or book in with us for a consultation & we can teach you how to navigate through challenging times by asking yourself specific questions that bring about some major shifts in perspective, and open the heart to gratitude and love.

Change your environment

If possible, removing yourself ‘temporarily’ from an environment that you associate a lot of pain with can be a wise move to make. Get away for a week or a weekend by yourself or with friends. Go for long walks on the beach or through the forest to clear your mind. Reflect on your situation from the vantage point of being removed from the environment that your drama is anchored in. Spend some time in beautiful scenery, rest, relax, let go of your worries, get out of your head for a while, and take some time to truly self reflect. By removing ourselves temporarily from a situation that we associate pain with, it is possible that we can go back and re-inhabit the old environment or activity with vitality, resolve and more clarity than we’ve ever had.

The second example of changing your environment is based on the principle that there is a direct relationship between our internal and external environments. If the mind is scattered, the environment will be messy. If you tidy your environment, you can change the way you think and feel, at least by creating a feeling of harmony in the work or home environment.

If life is getting a bit stale, if times are tough and you feel you need some change, rearrange your home and work environment. Move furniture around. Try adding some new colours and putting inspiring art on the walls. Print out meaningful and empowering photos and affirmations and put them on your fridge or in your office or gym. Surround yourself with imagery that resonates with who you and where you want to be. Design your home with some lightness and laughter too.

An important aspect to remember when using the change of environment, is not to use it as a form of Escapism, and understand this is a ‘Temporary’ form of therapy. It will not make your specific concerns or issues disappear. Remember what you flee, follows, what you resist, persists and what you fear comes near!

Counseling/Talk therapy

Talking with a professional, approachable and unbiased person or group can be a very effective step in the journey of healing and moving through any period of great challenge. The basic premise of talk therapy is that by vocalizing and discussing your challenges, this can help to clarify them and put them into perspective. Although standard talk therapies such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Group Therapy, Psychodynamic Therapy may not result in full resolution or healing, they are certainly an effective step in the journey, and can offer instant temporary relief from internal conflict.

Depending on your geographical location, counseling and group therapy sessions may be available at a free or very affordable rate. There are often help lines that you can call, free support groups, and businesses often provide free counseling services for their employees.

Express yourself - through art, music, writing, dancing

Another profound step on the road to healing is to express yourself creatively. If you’re already involved in some creativity through music, writing or art, put yourself into a harmonious environment and consciously express your deepest feelings by channeling it through your instruments or tools. As an artist, this should come naturally; but this time, give this everything you have. Strum your guitar intensely and rhythmically, sing your heart out, pour your soul into the paintbrush and release your pain cathartically.

If you’re an amateur or newcomer to the creative arts, don’t fear. This could make the experience all the more powerful to you.

Put on some music that you find particularly raw, inspiring or touching.
Sit down with pen and paper, and start to write down any thoughts and feelings that come to mind. If nothing comes up at first, just write or scribble anything at all. Keep going until you start to feel a release of emotion, and don’t stop until you feel the experience is completely exhausted or released.
Alternatively, dance along to some music that you feel connects to you and your life right now. Get into the moment, lose your inhibitions, express yourself physically in a way that connects you to the music while expressing your deepest feelings.

If you’re unsure how to express your creative side, it may be that you don’t yet know what it is that’s truly most important to you. Our creativity is strongest and shines through when we are doing whatever it is that is highest on our own unique set of values. Learning and discovering your own unique hierarchy of values is essential in being able to understand yourself and to let your creativity shine. (Book in for empowerment or integral life planning session with us if you would like assistance in determining your values, or use this link here for a written guide to doing it yourself.)

Break your patterns

We all allow ourselves to get bogged down into limiting thinking and behavioral patterns at the best of times. These patterns are often what tie us to negative emotions and inhibit us from living a more fulfilling and authentic life. So the basic principle in ‘breaking your patterns’ is that by changing your thoughts and behaviors, you broaden your horizons, break down barriers and change your life.

First of all, sit back with a pen and paper and mentally scan over your day to day and week to week existence.

Reflect on yourself. Determine problematic patterns

What are the self depreciating thoughts that you punish yourself with consistently?
Where are you feeling specifically blocked and frustrated?
Where are you reacting unreasonably to others and maybe expecting too much from them?
Which thinking and behavioral processes are you demonstrating that could be changed in a way that is more empowering and consistent with your ideal vision of yourself?

Do things that interrupt and break your current patterns

Try some activities that totally push your boundaries. Activities that force you into the moment, requiring your full focus and presence. Activities such as surfing, indoor soccer, skydiving, martial arts, mountain biking, dancing, and many more.

Get into some physical activity that pumps the blood right through your body. Hire a personal trainer and push your boundaries through weight training and cardio exercise. Weight training in particular, can be used as an effective transformative practice. It is in the challenge of pushing our physical strength and that 'raw confrontation with our self' that we overcome internal boundaries and grow to new levels of self confidence, mental focus and clarity. Sticking to a structured exercise regime is also a confidence building practice.
Learn how to meditate or do some kind of spiritual practice that enables you to go beyond your everyday self, to experience states that are revitalizing and transcendent. It is letting go of our self and experiencing a sense of unity or nothingness (as described by eastern philosophy) that we return to the self with greater perspective, appreciation and vitality. Nothing of the senses can completely satisfy the soul; the more we seek and achieve, the more we want. So it is wise to have a balance of letting go and embracing 'what is' in conjunction with growing and striving to attain what you desire. A combination of the inner peace of the eastern philosophy and outer accomplishment of the western ideals, you could say.
Use conscious mindfulness to interrupt yourself in the middle of your patterned thoughts and behaviors. For example, in your relationship, you may find yourself responding defensively to criticism, and about to respond with one of your usual manipulation cards, such as “Fine, I’ll never do that again if you don’t appreciate it.” But instead of following through with it, mentally step back for a moment and think to yourself “Hold up a second, why am I acting on autopilot? Maybe it’s wiser for me to listen to what this criticism is trying to communicate. Maybe this is something we can talk about. Maybe I can learn from this and if I do something about it, our relationship will grow.”

Dissolve your inner conflicts

Take time each evening before retiring to reflect on your day and to ask yourself quality questions such as “what worked today?” and “how did that experience today serve me?” helps us to find quality answers that break us through to higher levels of awareness, by helping us to see that within every so called crisis there is a blessing. Each evening, scan your day and anything you perceive as being negative, find how it served you in fulfilling your highest values, and turn that experience into something you can be grateful for. By becoming grateful for that event, you dissolve the emotional charge you are holding onto. Any emotion not turned into gratitude is an emotion that runs you.

In times of inner conflict, try asking yourself the following four questions:

Is it true?
Can I absolutely know that it’s true?
How do I react, what happens, when I believe that thought to be true?
Who would I be without that thought?

Our inner conflicts ultimately break us down and lead to stress related health issues. Taking time to turn these perceptions into loving states of gratitude dissolves these inner tensions and imbalances returning us to states of health and vitality.

(Book in with us for a transformation session if you would love some professional assistance in dissolving fears, guilts, shames, resentments and other internal conflicts.)

Live a new paradigm

Don’t stop growing.

When things don’t appear to be going well, it’s easy sometimes to just give in to the pressures and try to avoid, neglect or forget what it is that we are going through. But avoiding, neglecting or forgetting does nothing to help us overcome our concerns. In fact the very things we seek to avoid always come back in one form or another, as it was stated earlier, “whatever we resist, persists.”

All events, all situations are actually learning and growth opportunities and we are never given a growth opportunity we are not ready for. By avoiding our issues, our concerns or problems, we are essentially inviting them back in again, and we end up getting stuck in our current paradigm, stuck in a cycle of ‘same shit, different day’ type scenario. By accepting and embracing our life’s challenges and growth opportunities and turning the situation into something we can become grateful for (by discovering how this situation is serving us in some way), we are able to break through our current limiting belief system, and we breakthrough to a new higher paradigm, where we get to experience new higher forms of challenges and supports, pains and pleasures.

We are here to grow and evolve and to have an impact on ourselves, our families and ultimately our world, it is only through breaking through to higher ordered states of awareness that we are able to progress from egocentrism, to ethnocentrism to worldcentric states of being, where we can have the most impact. We are destined to grow.

Explore healing methodologies.

Any event we see as having more challenge than support or more pain than pleasure elicits a negative emotion in our psyche and physiology. Any event we see as having more support than challenge or more pleasure than pain elicits a positive emotion in the psyche and the physiology. Both of these emotions in excess are the cause of many psychological and physiological illnesses, sicknesses, and pathologies. It is only in a balanced state of love and gratitude that we can bring true healing to both body and mind. It is our belief at the Manny Molecular Project that it is wise to look for complete Integral healing methodologies that are based upon balancing all aspects of your internal and external, individual and collective aspects of your life. You don’t exist in isolation, so why use healing methodologies that attempt to isolate just one aspect of your being. We believe a truly balanced approach to healing is the only option for true health and vitality.

Read, read, read!

Dr John Demartini is often quoted as saying “You can’t put your hands into a pot of glue, without some of that glue sticking,” and like-wise you can’t immerse your mind in the great books without some of that information sticking with you. By reading, we are expanding our conscious knowledge and by expanding our knowledge we are more able to competently analyze and assess various situations we are in we are therefore able to act in wisdom rather than react in folly. By reading we are filling full the mind with content which leads to self fulfillment and contentment.

Reading for just 30 minutes a day can see you at the leading edge of any field you choose in approximately seven years, reading an hour a day, can see you there in approximately four years. Two hours a day in three years and three hours a day in two years. If you were to read for four hours a day, then in less than one year, you could be at the leading edge of your chosen field. So if you’re not already, start reading, allocate whatever time you can spare, and remember to read topics that have the most significance to you; that way, the information is more likely to be stored in your long term memory.

If you genuinely don't find that reading works for you, there are thousands of educational documentaries, lectures, workshops and seminars online and in our communities that are empowering and educational.

Empower the different areas of your life.

You may have noticed that your life seems to play out in many different areas, from your mental and cognitive abilities and capabilities, to your physical areas, such as sports, health and beauty, and there are other areas also. Many writers differ in how many areas of life there are, and all are correct. Some break it up into five areas, others twelve. In this section we’re going to use seven, those areas are: Spiritual, Mental, Financial, Vocational, Social, Familial and Physical.

It is wise to empower all seven areas of life, rather than just focusing on one or two. Why you may ask? Because any area you don’t empower, you attract someone to overpower you. You are not victim of their over-empowerment, it is just that you are not empowered. You are essentially here to empower and self actualize your life, and in order to do this, you must own, embrace and empower all areas. Focusing on just one or maybe two areas leaves you vulnerable to outside influences and you can only master your life when you have the power to listen to and obey the inner empowered voice. Any area you leave un-empowered is an area you become a follower, not a leader.

Embrace balanced thinking.

We live in a Universe that is composed of complimentary opposites and our minds can only perceive via contrast. We need contrast in order to perceive any event or any situation. We would not know what nice was, if we couldn’t contrast it with mean. We wouldn’t know what hot was without knowing its opposite, cold, and we wouldn’t know up, without knowing down. So our very existence is made up of opposite charges, positives and negatives.

Many of us travel through life looking for one side, we want the positives and we attempt to avoid the negatives, we want to be supported, but we want to avoid the challenges, we pursue the pleasure, but do our best to avoid the pain. How many of us however, have actually achieved this? In reality it is a fantasy, as life is two sided, take a quick look at your life right now and you will recognize that you have moments of inner peace and calm, and you also have moments of war and turmoil. Life is a two sided event, striving for one side without the other is futile, and in fact the more we seek one side, the more we attract the other side to break our addiction and to wake us up to the truth. If every time I was given a coin, and because it had two sides, a head (positive) and a tales (negative), and I was only looking for one side, (the heads – positive) then every time I received a coin I would have to throw it away because it also had a tales (negative), then I would never accumulate any worth. The same is true in life, if we are only looking for a one sided life, we can never accumulate any self worth. To accumulate self worth we need to embrace both sides of life; the positive and the negative, the support and the challenge.

If a child gets only support in its life and gets whatever it wants every time it wants it, it stays Juvenile and dependent. If on the other hand the child receives too much challenge then it grows and matures too quickly and doesn’t integrate itself at each stage of development which can lead to psychological pathologies. Every organism grows optimally at the equal rate of support and challenge, comfort and discomfort, order and chaos. Our advice at the Manny Molecular Project is to embrace all aspects of your life, the positive and the negative, as both are ultimately leading you back to the truth of love, and true Unconditional love is a synthesis and synchronicity of all complimentary opposites.

Act towards your dreams.

Each morning upon arising, take a few minutes to set yourself a plan of action that leads you towards your dreams. It has often been said that if we fail to plan, then we plan to fail. In our experience we believe this to be absolutely true. It has also been shown that due to the law of entropy, any area of life that we don’t give attention to begins to breakdown, and the very same is true with our goals. If we don’t fill our days with high priority action steps, leading us to fill full our goals and dreams, then our days get filled up with low priority things that lead us away from our goals and dreams.

Remember, every time you achieve a goal, you grow in self worth, so always set goals that are congruent with your highest values; be realistic with objectives and time frames. Chunk your goals down into smaller goals, so they don’t appear to be so hard to achieve, and most of all, every time you achieve a personal goal, reward yourself, you deserve it.

We hope that this article has been informative, inspiring and practical for you. The principles that we've shared have worked for us, and have worked for countless people in their journeys of healing and self transformation. If you've enjoyed this article and would like to take these ideas to a new level with some professional assistance, please consider our consulting services.