Throughout life we have all been exposed at some time or another to ideas such as ‘The Dark Side’ of life, through movies, magazines, books, conversations with friends, or maybe we have even heard of ideas such as Repressions or Pathologies of the mind. We may also have heard unusual statements such as “We must learn to own, embrace and express the shadow aspects, or dark side of ourselves.” But unless we know exactly what this illusive shadow or dark side is, and how to recognize it, how can we be expected to embrace or resolve this part of ourselves?

The Shadow is the part of our mind or psyche that we are unaware of and are blind to, it is the part of ourselves that we have disowned, repressed and dissociated ourselves from and now resides in the unconscious part of the mind. Many well known psychologists such as Carl Jung claim that every individual possesses a shadow. If what Jung and others are claiming is true, then a basic yet very fundamental question arises, “what if any are the benefits in discovering, owning and reintegrating this dissociated part of ourselves?” and of bringing our Unconscious, Conscious?
 
As we go through life, because we see and act upon the world according to our finite value systems, we tend to place judgement and evaluate specific events and situations. The very second we do this, we create a boundary. This boundary in return creates a set of opposites; a polarity of contrasts in the mind of either good Versus bad or right Versus wrong or a similar set of opposites... and in fact these opposites cannot exist unless there is a boundary. Once the boundary has been created we emotionally polarize ourselves towards what either supports or challenges our values. When a situation or event happens in our life that we perceive as being more supportive or positive of our values, then that immediately goes into our Conscious memory, whilst we simultaneously ignore and repress the opposite side, the challenging or the negative into the Unconscious memory and vice versa. When we perceive our values as being challenged, that challenge is stored and locked into our Conscious memory, whilst the simultaneous Supportive or positive opposite is now repressed into the Unconscious.

Whenever you perceive more positives than negatives, you experience a positive emotion, whenever you perceive more negatives than positives, you experience a negative emotion, and both of these states are lower frequency states that dissipate your potential, drain you and run your life. Whenever we experience either of these emotions we split and fragment ourselves and create two personas, the side that we own becomes one of our many masks that we consciously display to the world, the other side that we have ignored however now gets repressed or suppressed in the unconscious psyche where we no longer see it. We have disassociated that part of ourselves and have now created “The Shadow” or what is often called in various psychologies a “Pathology” within the psyche. So our lower mind or ego then is made up of and composed of a persona and a shadow – (persona + shadow = Ego).

The truth of life is that we are not here to get rid of either side, but we are here to learn to embrace both sides of our lives, like both sides of the coin. We must embrace both sides in order for us to expand and become whole and grow in worth. And herein lies the problem, it is the very fact that we ignore half of the equation, that we unconsciously create boundaries and polar opposites, it is these very boundaries that cause one half of the whole to be made Conscious and the other half Unconscious. Both sides still exist in Actuality, like the crest and trough of a wave which cannot be separated, or like the Inside and the Outside of a circle, both sides always exist simultaneously, it is only because of our finite awareness that we attempt to separate the inseparable.

When you think you are more positive than negative, you allow yourself to become self righteous, cocky or elated, and you build and lift yourself up acting superior towards others. When you see, or are more negative than positive, you now become self wrongeous, deflated and depressed and beat yourself down and you tend to act inferior. Both of these states are created by the illusory boundary that you erected with your value system and both states are lies about what is, veiling you from the radiant truth of your own luminance and magnificence, because the truth is that you are a fully integrated human being, who has a perfect balance of traits, both positives and negatives and when you re-unite the two personas, or the shadow and the persona, you regain your true radiant nature as light.

The very reason we emotionally react to other people’s behaviours and character traits is because we project our disowned parts out on to the world, and whenever I disown and project my feelings, drives, emotions and qualities, they appear “out there” where they frighten me, irritate me, depress me, excite me, repel me or turn into some sort of obsession. Much of the time, the things that most disturb, upset, fascinate, or compel me about others are actually my own repressed and disowned shadow drives or qualities, which are now perceived not as originating in me but as existing “out there” somewhere, but yet it forms many of my feelings, behaviours, drives and motivations. My shadow subconsciously and inadvertently shapes many of my behaviours, creating and perpetuating cyclical dramas and specific patterns that I don’t seem to be able to escape.

What’s most interesting is that whatever you disown in yourself you tend to attract into your life in one form or another. You may marry your disowned parts, become business or working partners with them, or attract them as clients and friends. Whatever you don’t want to see or appreciate in yourself, you keep attracting into your life until you learn to love it. You can’t escape your wholeness and completeness, the universe is designed to ensure you grow, and just as a plant grows towards the light, as you awaken to the radiant truth of who you are and you allow light to re-enter the parts of the psyche you were once disowning, you reintegrate yourself and you re-member the dismembered parts of yourself and you grow towards the light of your own Soul. Our buttons are there to bring to our awareness our own lopsided perceptions, and people come into our lives as teachers to point this out to us. The ones who push your buttons the most are said to be our greatest teachers.

Reintegrating the shadow

By learning to observe this split and understand the process as it occurs, we are able to be more conscious of the split in the first instance, which in turn then allows us to react and reintegrate the many fragmented parts and we are able to become more integrated, whole and more complete with more energy and vitality, we in effect allow the light to shine back in the mind, bringing forth its radiant and illuminant essence.

One of the easiest ways to recognize these shadow aspects of yourself, is to become aware of what it is that pushes your buttons, what is it that causes you to react emotionally to events or situations. The person who feels everybody is rejecting him is really the person who is totally unaware of his own tendencies to reject and criticize others and it is through our symptoms we are able to find our shadow, and it is through the discovery of your shadow you are able to expand upon your self- limiting, self imposed boundaries and recreate the path to a more accurate, honest and acceptable self image of yourself.

Ways to discover your own shadow

• What in other people pushes your buttons?
• What is it in others that causes you to experience negative emotions?
• What is it in others that causes you to experience positive emotions?
• What is it you dislike, despise or resent in others?
• What is it you like, admire or infatuate with in others?
• What causes you to feel envious or jealous towards or about others?

Identify the specific traits or actions that you have answered from the above questions and write them down on a piece of paper.
Once you have done this beside each written trait or action you need to ask yourself, “who has seen me or who sees me displaying and acting out this same trait?” – This can be quite challenging for many people. But the point to remember is, every person has every trait and the point of this exercise is to not only point that out through the law of reflection but to also demonstrate that those traits are also transparent to others. For each trait you have listed, you will generally need to write down the names of approximately 20 to 50 people who have seen or see you with this trait in order for you to be able to fully acknowledge that you own this trait to the same degree as the person you are judging. You must own it to the same degree, if you feel “yes I can see I have this trait, but not as bad as so and so” – then you need to keep looking, to fully integrate and own this disowned part, you must first own it to the same degree as you see it in others.

The one point I feel is worthy of mention at this point is, that although there are numerous paths to discover and to be able to recognize the projected shadow aspect of yourself, and the above is a small aspect of one of those many ways, many of these therapies fail to fully integrate and allow you to actually embrace and love this once rejected part of yourself. There is a major difference in being able to recognize and admit you have this disowned part, compared to being able to love yourself fully for it and see how it serves you in your higher purpose, the latter is truly another completely different paradigm and perspective, and is the only perspective which truly allows you to transcend to higher levels of awareness and being, the only full way of completely dissolving those boundaries and fully unite the dualistic opposites into complete ONENESS.

Here at The Manny Molecular Project, we offer consultations that can indeed take you through these processes, to help you reintegrate your shadow, to heal unresolved issues, to balance emotional charges and so on. We do this in a professional, non judgmental, caring, and sometimes fun and playful way. We are professionally trained facilitators in an effective modern methodology for creating change and bringing balance and healing to the mind. Click here now if you would love to look into a consultation and take your life to a new level.