Who am I?
Why am I here?
Who will I become?
What is my Destiny?
What is my true nature?
Where do we come from?
Which solutions will help me to break through my current challenges?
What good can come from all this negative that I’m perceiving?

To these, and a myriad of other vital questions, is it possible that the answers and solutions could already be present in the depths of our own minds. Self Reflection is the process by which we come to observe, examine and explore the content of our own unique inner world. It may be used to gain insight into current challenges, to uncover hidden dreams and potentials, to gain deeper insight, self understanding and growth, to evolve and expand our worldview, or to explore the nature of the soul and the deeper meanings of life.

“Education begins the gentleman, but reading, good company and reflection must finish him.” - John Locke

Practiced consistently and effectively, this ‘inner work’ results in increased self awareness, an enlarging of boundaries; understanding our perfect role as an integral part of the wider circle of life. It can greatly assist us with clarifying our true values, priorities, strengths, and establishing a step-by-step map to our goals and dreams. It is important to remember that no one else can do this for us, and if we avoid it on the long term, we are likely to become reactive, unfulfilled, frustrated and superficial; living on the surface level, unaware of the inspiring depths of potential that exists and is buried deep within us.

Naturally, we seek insight, advice and validation from external sources; friends, colleagues, family, mentors, and of course, Google. But what we may find with time, is that outside feedback almost always comes with the subjective bias, values, even agendas of the individual/s that we are listening to, which may not always be in our own best interests.  Outside feedback is a valuable resource, but it is unwise to relinquish our own independent thinking, our own decision making, our own intuition. This habit of constantly seeking outside advice and validation can become an addictive habit, that gradually builds layer open layer of resistance to our own, unlimited reservoir of insight.

“As a rule, all heroism is due to a lack of reflection, and thus it is necessary to maintain a mass of imbeciles. If they once understand themselves the ruling men will be lost.” - Ernest Renan

Self Reflection is essentially our relationship to the depths of our own minds. Like any relationship, our attention, effort, and presence are needed to continue the journey of growth. So what are the fundamental requirements for this all important life practice?

Quality questions: 

To navigate our minds effectively, we must learn the art of asking quality questions. As they say: “Ask a stupid question, and get a stupid (or vague) answer; once we start to articulate clear, penetrating, meaningful questions, we increase the probability of drawing-out powerful insights and answers from the unconscious. Dedicate some time to developing and learning how to ask yourself quality questions, both in your self refections, and in your human relationships, and the results will astound you. A quality question is a question that allows you to encompass a greater perspective, allowing you to see a situation or perceived problem with greater clarity and from multiple angles.

When you are in situation where you perceive that you are being challenged by someone in some way, the unwise thing to do would be to take a stance or immediate position against the situation. This would automatically lead to resistance and further tension, simultaneously activating the fight and flight response in yourself, where your decision making process becomes more irrational. The rational, wiser action one might take is to ask a quality question, such as, “Although I am being challenged, where is the equal and opposite amount of support being played out?”

As an experiment, you could take the time right now to do this. Think of a time in your life when you felt that you were being challenged in some way. When you have that moment clear in your mind, look for where an equal and opposite amount of support was being directed at you. When you realize that both challenge and support were simultaneously being played out, you dissolve the perception of that event that you were holding onto.

Another example of a quality question is, in a situation when you perceive someone as being or doing something negative to you, ask yourself how that action or inaction is serving you in some way, or how is it a benefit to you. By answering this question, you dissolve the illusion that what it was they were doing was just negative, and you discover it had both negatives and positive, drawbacks and benefits.

This type of questioning allows you to expand your awareness to see a more inclusive and encompassing perspective, raising your awareness to greater depths of understanding and truth.

"Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare." - Japanese Proverb

Sincerity & Time:

We must approach self reflection with an attitude of sincerity, in order to access a greater depth of insight. It is through having a strong enough purpose, reason, or list of reasons that we invoke the sincerity required for rewarding reflection. Perhaps it is this lack of purpose or perceived benefits that stops most people from making the time to sit down in a distraction-less environment, and reflect.

“The unexamined life is not worth living.” - Socrates

Self reflection and Contemplation are powerful forms of meditation, and can lead to many a-ha, or eureka types of moments, where real creativity, inspiration and drive emerge, enabling you to expand your set of current assumptions about the world. A moment where you become an exemplification of your true authenticity and uniqueness, a moment where you will shine like the star that you really truly are.

If you are reading this article and still feeling hesitation about making the time in your life for reflection, the best suggestion that we can advise, is to sit down with pen and paper, and come up with a list of reasons as to how reflection will serve you in your life, and help you to be who you want to be, and achieve what you want to achieve.

Once you have a clear reason to make reflection a part of your life, you can establish a regular routine, such as fifteen minutes each morning or evening, three times a week, or even one, one hour session per week. Alternatively, you can spontaneously make the time to reflect whenever you feel emotionally compelled, or inspired to do so.

Educational Fuel:

Exploring the works of philosophy, psychology, the arts, or other contemplative traditions provides us with a broader and more informed foundation to work from (this could be a matter of watching documentaries, listening to podcasts, attending public talks or lectures, or going straight for serious reading and scholarly research). Education really means; ‘a deepening of insight,’ the most efficient and effective way to gain a deepening of insight, is to have a balance of ‘self and other’ learning, during your learning experience, whether it be through reading, watching documentaries or listening to podcasts, take time during that experience to reflect and contemplate that which you just learned. It is also a wise idea to share with others what you have learned and reflected upon, this helps to retain that information.

We all have the capacity to reflect and gain insight from within, but those insights are always going to be interpreted through our current worldview and current intellectual framework. The more life experience, psychological and spiritual understanding we have, the more empowered we are to interpret our inner insights and assimilate them into our lives. Another way of looking at it, is to think about the ‘Multiple intelligence’ theory.  If we cultivate our emotional and intra-personal intelligences, we have greater self awareness and stronger self-understanding intelligence to work with. Personal growth and life experience are also a form of education, and both of these assist in strengthening our self reflection.

Another remarkable and important benefit of a long and sincere life-process of reflection, is the evolution of our worldview.

Worldview:

Although we have been focused on ‘Self’ reflection, this practice is not exclusively limited to matters of the individual as one may think of it. There is an inseparability between us as individuals, with our culture, with politics, nature, business, education, technology, relationships, the arts, media, the economy, religion, and all the rest. By informing ourselves through broad research and study, and then ‘going within’ to reflect upon and evaluate various perspectives on these ‘outside’ situations, we gradually expand our inner perspectives, and start seeing the world with a new depth and wisdom. We could call this the ‘evolution of our worldview.’

All of us start off in life at an egocentric stage. This is where it’s all about “me, myself and I” and everything is interpreted through your own ego; you can’t see outside things as being completely separate from yourself; all actions and consequences link back to you somehow. At this stage of development, you don’t have the capacity to take on someone else’s perspective. Secondly, as we grow and mature, we reach an ethno/socio-centric stage or worldview; which means that the individual is concerned primarily with himself, his own family, tribe, nation, or race; anything outside of this spectrum is considered to be either bad, weird or unworthy. Thirdly, we awaken to a more world-centric worldview; which sees the equal value in all of humanity, regardless of race, creed, color, religious preferences, etc. This means that the individual has a more universal interest and concern for the world at large, and is no longer only caught up in the affairs of the tribe or the self.

We do not progress through these stages of awareness just by wishing it to happen, or through being told to ‘stop racism’ or ‘be more compassionate’ through the media. Genuine worldview development only comes through education and sincere self reflection; a gradual emergence from the blindness of ignorance occurs.

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Too much reflection:

Although most people will give almost NO time for sincere and focused self reflection, doing it in excess can lead to a withdrawal from life, and could be considered or seen as a form of escapism. Too much can result in a submersion into the inner world; a loss of interest in external events, loss of drive to fulfill one’s dreams and responsibilities, abortion of self actualization.

"The unexamined life may not be worth living, but the life too closely examined may not be lived at all" -Mark Twain

Hence, it may be advisable to practice no more than one hour per day and to combine as mentioned earlier both ‘Self and Other’ methods of learning and assimilating information. The same can be said if you delve into books, documentaries or podcasts, but take no time for reflecting and contemplating on what it is you have been absorbing and ingesting. By taking the time to reflect, you are able to make new links and associations between the great works you have been assimilating, allowing yourself to have more realizations and a-ha moments, which simultaneously expand your current sphere of awareness and influence.

Reflection is a highly valuable and integral part of any fulfilling life. If personal growth and fulfillment are high on your agenda, make the time to reflect, and you will continue to reap the benefits for the rest of your years. What else can we say, but to remind you that ‘getting out there’ is far more rewarding when you also give yourself the time to ‘go within.’ Socrates said that the unexamined life is not worth living, and we think you’ll find that any wise person you meet will agree on that point.