Despite the fact that the twentieth century was greatly defined by advances in psychology and psychotherapy, it’s apparent that we are still resistant to exploring it’s benefits in our own lives. Therapy is still taboo, it seems. For some, therapy represents the ultimate loss of integrity, a sign of weakness, an absolute last resort, whereas others find therapy to be effective, helpful, even life changing. Perhaps most of us simply have a distorted view of the full value and purpose of therapy, and don't see it's potential as a pathway to a more fulfilling and independent life.

Today we're seeking the answers from an experienced psychotherapist and author on the topic from the U.K.

Enter Philippa Perry.

Could you identify for us, what exactly causes this resistance towards psychology and therapy?

There are probably as many reasons as there are people. Therapy is challenging as well as supportive and it does take an awful lot of courage to pick up the phone to a therapist for the first time.  It is also an act of courage to unpack your life and look at it honestly. Many of the fears that people have are well founded - How do I know my therapist is any good? How do I know whether it will be a waste of time and money? and it may be. For these reasons people usually wait until things have got to a crisis point. I think this is a pity and it is up to therapists to educate people as to why seeking therapy earlier could be a better course to take. For more details please see my article Myths and Fears around psychotherapy

What is a typical psychotherapy session really like for both the therapist and patient? 

I think not knowing this was one of the things that kept me from seeking help. It is one of the reasons I wrote Couch Fiction which shows exactly what its like for one client and one therapist. There are things from this dyad that will be typical of all therapies, but each dyad will also have its own uniqueness.

What difference does it make to an individual's life when they work through neurotic conditions, reduce anxiety, and bring their mind to a more balanced state?

Neurosis builds up when a person tries to avoid emotional pain, when we no longer fear that pain because we have worked through it life can become a lot simpler, easier, more enjoyable and more productive. But the biggest difference is that therapy helps you make deeper connections with other people and being able to connect with others is what enables you to continue to grow after therapy is over.

Does psychotherapy often lead to major breakthroughs and accelerated growth for the patients?

The breakthroughs that happen don't just happen in the logic, reasoning part of the brain, they happen in the deeper non-verbal parts - in the limbic system. If a breakthrough only happens in the logic/reasoning part of the brain the way you process would remain the same, so real breakthroughs are felt rather than reasons. Therapy can lead to healthier ways of self-regulation and therefore connection. A metaphor that works for me is, if you think of a plant, it needs the right conditions to grow, light, soil, water - therapy can be like that giving you the right conditions for growth.  For more details about conditions for growth, please read my article How to be Happy

What are the risks of choosing religion, cults and new age spirituality, with hopes of salvation and healing, as opposed to choosing the proven benefits of psychotherapy?

Therapy can be a disguise for a cult as well. There are many therapy centers that have cult like properties. Some new age cults or religious cults may be less toxic that some therapy cults. Also some religions and crystal healing might be just the solution for some people. It’s different courses for different horses. One size does not fit all. There are registered, licensed, qualified practitioners who may not be able to attune to you and there could be some untrained mystic type healer who can attune to you and facilitate deep healing in you. What I would say as a pointer is watch out for when you have deep feelings of love bordering on worship for your facilitator that are not challenged. We would call that an idealised transference which must always be challenged because it is important to own your own good qualities and not project them all onto an authority figure. Equality is desirable in therapeutic relationships. When this is missing, beware because it increases the possibility of exploitation. There are no guarantees. You cannot legislate away risk. There is always risk in every relationship and it is wishful thinking to believe it doesn't have to be like that. But do watch out for a guru like figure with a lack of humility; watch out if you are encouraged to do more and more courses/workshops in just the one organisation; watch out for organisations who say they are the ONLY safe place to be and isolate their members from other therapeutic options.

If you had to summarize psychotherapy and it's potential into a short statement, what would it be?

A reparative relationship opening up more choice for ways of being in the world.

In conclusion, perhaps the psychological arts have more to offer us than we think. There’s always an element of risk, or potential for disappointment, but as you can see from Philippa’s above insights, the benefits for change, resolution and breakthrough are clearly there. So it’s ultimately up to you to decide if you are willing to endure the challenges in order reap the benefits. So there’s a taboo around therapy, what does that really matter? Rock music was once taboo, divorce was once taboo, personal spirituality was taboo, and the world was once believed to be flat. Intelligence and public opinion aren’t always synonymous with each other! If you choose to seek therapy, you are protected by confidentiality, and it’s really up to you if you wish to share with the people in your life or not.

For further information, google and wikipedia are always your friends. Don’t be afraid to do a little research and explore what therapies may be suitable for you. We hope this blog has been helpful to you, and we welcome any feedback or personal stories about your experiences with therapy.