Mannys' Page

All too often, we allow ourselves to get caught up in the convenience of atomistic thinking. That is, thinking which is black or white, all or nothing, good or bad, positive or negative, all in or all out, high or low; and a total disregard of the in-between spectrum of 'what ifs, maybes, depends, a little of both,' and so on.

Why is it that we choose to seek out and speculate on what we think is the best sports team or the one 'ultimate' form of martial arts? Why do we always find the celebrity to praise, the hero to worship, and the villain to demonize? Or the scriptural truth which is truer than all the other truths? Why is it that when somebody makes an observation of us, we have to ask "Is that good or bad?"

We could argue that atomistic thinking is a time saver, a convenience, a comfort mechanism; it saves the effort of going into detail or dealing with complexity. It keeps us at a healthy distance from meaningful human interaction. But what are the drawbacks to it?

It slows us down, can render us inarticulate, stubborn, dull and hesistant to engage in meaningful dialogue. And how may this affect our internal processes, of discerning, analysing and making sense of the world? Over-simplification and dichotomizing has us projecting all sorts of limiting labels onto the world around us. "Those people are good, the others are bad." "Spirituality is all cult worship, because I saw this one story on the news about cult-abuse." "You can't trust anyone in this world, because there's so much crime." In all of these instances of taking a one-sided stance, we also disown the relevence of it's opposite side, which in turn reinforces the polarization of our own mind. This leads to further one-sidedness, discrimination and judgment; judgment takes us further away from a meaningful, purposeful and inspired existence, and traps us in the prison of cynicism.

To idealize one thing involves rejecting it's opposite; thus perpetuating the dichotomy. To see where everything fits by honoring the benefits and drawbacks to both sides, we are freed up to live our lives with inspiration, living and standing up for what is true to us, but not getting overly caught up in judgment.

Some judgment is of course healthy and important, as is healthy skepticism, and the ability to think for ourselves by asking quality questions. All of these things actually lead to an increased ability to deal with contrast and complexity. Judgment is not something that we are wise to try and get rid of; trying to get rid of anything in ourselves is in itself futile. My point is that wisdom and mental wellbeing arise from the ability to see both sides in every situation. To be able to see that there is always a blessing in every crisis, one door closing leading to another opening, an opportunity in every adversity, two sides to every argument, an underlying agenda for being overweight, a bunch of benefits for losing your job; these and other vital perspectives bring balance to the mind, and free us up to live more inspired lives. It is through getting caught up in the judgments, discriminations, worries and frustrations that we dissipate our energy and get caught up in a reactive zone.

The simplest way to make sense of these ideas is to apply them thoroughly in daily life. Whenever somebody says that something is bad, think to yourself, "Where is it good, where is it positive, how does it serve people? What place does it have in the world?" Whenever you see a loss, a crisis or a roadblock in front of you, ask "Where are the gains, where are the blessings, how does this free me up in other ways?" When somebody says that a film was "bad", ask them to articulate why this is so. Look for the other side; what where the strengths were in the film, who put on a convincing performance, were the graphics impressive? You get the point. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to re-enter your field of experience, namely life, and start exploring both sides of anything of the past, present or future that stimulates your mind!

Think of all the people who do or have pushed your buttons, and start seeing the other side in them. How have their actions actually helped you? Where are they actually kind, generous, intelligent, resourceful, etc? Whatever you don't like in them, discover where they are also the opposite. Apply the same thinking to the people you idolise and have up on pedestals. Where are these people rude, stingy, lazy, selfish, and so on? Again, apply this thinking to yourself. Where do you beat yourself up? If you think you are lazy, discover where you are motivated. If you think you lack confidence, look for where you are confident and certain. In all of these scenarios, don't just look for one example; write down fifty, a hundred, a hundred and fifty. The more we explore both sides of memories, assumptions, beliefs and perceptions, the more we dissolve the emotional charges and comparisons that run our lives, and we free ourselves up to live from a more inspired state.

What we are talking about here is nothing less than a totally fresh perspective on what makes a person fulfilled in life. Seeking to be positive without negative or good without bad is an over simplified and bi-polar approach to life which always falls flat on it's face. By honoring both sides of ourselves, others and life-events, we take a perspective of wholeness instead of one-sidedness. This all makes for fairly heavy reading, but when it comes down to living a fulfilling life, the challenges of seeking balance far outweigh the effortlessness of staying in judgment and embracing futility.

If you are interested in trying out these heart opening and mind integrating exercises in a more focused and stimulating environment, check out our services section or book me in for a one-on-one consultation here in Melbourne, Australia. It has been such a meaningful and rewarding experience applying these philosophies and exercises on myself and professionally with others; I could do it for 16 hours a day! I absolutely love the experience of connecting with authentic people and participating in somebody's personal breakthroughs. It's really a driving force in my life!